"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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