I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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