I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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