I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize
