Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize