I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
