Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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