the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
