I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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