im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you didnt know i had herpes?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
