sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I don't think brook has ever known best
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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