I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
