Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
