Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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