She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
