Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
