Dual....:-)
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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