you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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