The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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