i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize