plz talk dirty to me
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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