the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize