I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
