Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Redeem this text for a blowjob
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize