oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
