There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
