I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
