This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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