He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
