He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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