porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize