and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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