I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
