I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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