I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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