Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
