Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
