I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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