and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
