Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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