Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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