Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
