he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
