You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
we should paint friendship bongs
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
