Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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