I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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