If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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