Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
