only if we run a train.
done.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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