What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
