matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
