some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
