a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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