Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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