this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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