THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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