Betty ford says i'm here all night
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
