be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
