I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Randomize
