oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
