can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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