You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
