I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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