They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
