i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize