she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
