even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
