i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
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