I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
